School Refusal


By Anupama Diddee
Behaviour Support Practitioner, Clinical Lead - Infant, Youth & Schooling Informed Practice at helpz
School refusal is one of the most researched topics on the internet at the moment. This is largely because it is becoming increasingly common in children and young people to refuse going to school. What once was an extremely enjoyable experience is now becoming a very challenging task for parents and families to deal with. While on the surface refusal to go to school may appear as defiance, laziness or lack of motivation, it is actually a child's way of communicating that they are struggling to cope with their environment and with the demands of being at school.
As Behaviour Support Practitioners it is important that we move beyond the behaviour itself and try to understand what the child is attempting to communicate through this behaviour. When viewed through a behavioural lens, we will be able to see that school refusal is not the problem, it is a response to a problem.
What Does School Refusal Look Like?
School refusal can present in many different ways. Some children may openly state that they do not want to attend school and may engage in behaviours like crying or throwing a tantrum in the morning, making it difficult for a parent who is also trying to rush to get to their work. Other children may complain of stomach aches, headaches, fatigue or other physical symptoms and try and use that as an excuse to avoid school. Some children even become argumentative, withdrawn, distressed, or experience significant emotional outbursts when school attendance is discussed.
Some families have reported that they suddenly started witnessing a clear refusal to get to school, whereas for others, attendance may have started to decline gradually. It is important to look at what precedes the occurrence of these behaviours. Often underlying causes can range from bullying, friendship difficulties, academic challenges, family changes, to any other negative experience that children have at school.
Understanding the Function of the Behaviour
One of the first questions we ask in behaviour support is, "What is the child getting or avoiding through this behaviour?", or “What is this behaviour trying to tell us?”
School refusal behaviours are often maintained by one or more of the following factors:
- Avoidance of anxiety-provoking situations
- Escape from academic demands that feel overwhelming
- Difficulties with social interactions or peer relationships
- Sensory sensitivities within the school environment
- Separation anxiety from caregivers
- Previous negative experiences associated with school
- Change in friendship dynamics or other friendship issues
For children with Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, anxiety, learning difficulties, or other developmental differences, school environments can be particularly demanding. Just the idea of getting to school, following through learning tasks, staying on schedule, and following instructions throughout the day can put a lot of load on their neural system. Therefore, what appears to be a simple task like attending school may actually require the child to navigate multiple challenges before the school day has even begun.
Families try various strategies and conversations to get their child to school. However, very few of them address the underlying reason for school refusal. If a child is experiencing significant anxiety, overwhelming sensory demands, and stress related to friendship, then increased demands from the family can actually damage trust and further reduce engagement. It is important that the support that is built around the child is focused on understanding barriers, building coping skills, and creating achievable goals for a successful return to school.
Practical Strategies for Supporting School Refusal
1. Understand the Triggers
The first and most important step is to understand the triggers. This can be done by gathering information from the child, the family, and the school. It is important to look for patterns and ask questions like ‘are there days of the week when refusal is most’, ‘are there specific classes or activities on a certain day that are adding to the stress’, or ‘are there any changes in the home or school’. It is important to analyse these factors while also considering any social or emotional difficulties that could be a contributing factor for the behaviour. A functional understanding of the behaviour should guide intervention.
2. Reduce the Demand, Not the Expectation
For some children, expecting immediate full-time attendance may be unrealistic. It is important for the team working with the child to consider:
- Partial attendance
- Gradual re-entry plans
- Attending preferred subjects or times of the day initially
- Scheduled breaks throughout the day
The goal remains school engagement, but the pathway may need to be adjusted. A gradual transition plan works very well if it is made keeping the needs of the child in mind, along with an understanding of parental expectations, cultural perspectives and the learning outcomes that everyone has in mind for the child.
3. Build Psychological Safety
Creating an environment of trust, understanding and acceptance is more important than any other strategy that can be used when building relationships with children. They are more likely to engage when they feel accepted and understood rather than judged. When children go through periods of anxiety and uncertainty, it is important to acknowledge their feelings, validate their experience, focus on problem solving rather than blame, and celebrate small successes while we put together a system to get them to attend school full time. Even attending the school for a lesson or half a day may represent significant progress for a child and must be viewed the same by the adults.
4. Strengthen School Supports
Collaboration between families and schools is essential. It is important to have a trusted staff member that the families can reach out to. It is also important to build the correct supports for the child in the school. This could include a safe space for regulation if needed, visual schedules, modified tasks, scaffolding of all learning activities, and sensory accommodations wherever needed. Small adjustments can sometimes have a significant impact on how a child feels at school and will therefore impact attendance and wellbeing.
5. Focus on Long-Term Success
It can be tempting to focus solely on getting the child through the school gate. However, attendance without emotional safety is not always sustainable.
Long-term success involves helping children develop resilience, coping strategies, emotional regulation skills, and confidence in their ability to manage challenges.
Final Thoughts
School refusal behaviours are rarely about a child simply not wanting to attend school. More often they reflect unmet needs, anxiety, skill deficits, environmental barriers, or a combination of these factors.
As Behaviour Support Practitioners, our role is not simply to increase attendance. It is to understand the function of the behaviour, work collaboratively with families and schools, and develop supports that address the underlying causes. When we take the time to understand what a child is communicating through their behaviour, we are often able to create more meaningful and sustainable outcomes.
Behind every school refusal behaviour is a child who is struggling with something. Understanding that struggle is the first step towards supporting them effectively.
News & Insights
Check Our Latest Resources






