Tharon’s Thoughts : Rethinking Therapy for Autistic People

August 23, 2026




By Tharon

Neurodivergent Consultant at helpz


The Connection Between the Nervous System and the Brain 


Most people don’t realise just how closely the nervous system and the body are connected. This is true even for neurotypicals, but especially for neurodivergents where the gap between nervous system and body is a lot closer and vastly underestimated. What we think, feel, and experience is not just “in our heads”, it shows up physically, shaping our energy, our sleep, our digestion, and even how safe or unsafe we feel in the world. 


For many autistic people, the nervous system operates in a near constant state of alert - I call this battle mode. This is not because something is “wrong”, but because the environment often feels unpredictable, overwhelming, or demanding in ways that do not align with how our brains are wired. When you are repeatedly corrected, monitored, or told to suppress natural behaviours, the nervous system begins to interpret the world as a place of ongoing threat. Over time, this creates what can be described as a high neural load, meaning the brain is working harder simply to get through everyday experiences and therefore using more energy (Spoon Theory). 


Although autistic and neurotypical people have the same underlying regulation needs, the autistic individual is not able to access the regulation tools that come naturally to the neurotypical person. When typical strategies are unavailable, the nervous system turns to what is accessible. This is where stimming becomes not just important, but essential. 


Self stimming, short for self stimulatory behaviour, refers to repetitive movements or sounds that help regulate sensory input, emotions, and arousal levels within the nervous system. It can look like tapping a foot, clicking a pen, rocking, hand flapping, humming, or repeating sounds. Those are the common ones, but it can also look like hitting yourself in the head, hitting your head against a brick wall, or biting and scratching yourself until you bleed. While this is indeed an attempt at self-regulation, it is extreme and unhealthy. This is the nervous system at a desperate edge, an attempt to control the internal chaos and support regulation back to a controllable limit. It can also be more internal, such as silently repeating phrases in the mind, which is known as internal echolalia. While some stimming may appear unusual to others, it serves a very real purpose. It helps the nervous system find balance. 


Masking is the process of consciously or unconsciously suppressing these natural responses in order to meet social expectations. When someone masks, they often push their physical and sensory needs inward. As an example, I am often suppressing my visceral need to take my shirt off. This does not make the need disappear, it simply redirects it. The body still seeks regulation, and this can lead to less visible forms of stimming and/or an eventual build up that results in overwhelm. Over time, masking can also have physical effects, contributing to sleep difficulties, digestive changes, restraint collapse, increased heart rate, chronic tension and other mental or physical health repercussions. 


Anxiety in autistic people often looks different from what is typically recognised. Situations that may not seem stressful to others can be profoundly overwhelming due to sensory sensitivity, unpredictability, or social pressure. Being told to “tone it down” or to behave in a certain way can actually increase the anxiety, reinforcing the need to mask and further straining the nervous system. This is called Distinct Anxiety and is unique to autism. These patterns often begin early in life. Autistic individuals are born with these differences, but early on lack the internal awareness or communication skills to express their needs. When those needs go unmet, the body responds through distress signals such as intensified stimming or in extreme cases, meltdowns. 


Self regulation is the nervous system’s attempt to return to a state of balance. However, for someone experiencing constant sensory input, that balance can be difficult to achieve. Even in a quiet room, the brain is still processing layers of sound, movement, and sensation that others easily filter out. This ongoing input creates a sense of internal chaos, where the body struggles to find stillness and the mind never shuts up, even when we sleep. 


When the nervous system perceives ongoing threat, it moves into survival responses, commonly described as fight, flight, or freeze. The freeze response, often described in autistic experiences as shutdown, is when the system becomes overwhelmed and essentially powers down to protect itself. Another related experience is restraint collapse, where a person holds themselves together throughout the day and then, once in a safe environment, experiences an intense drop in energy and functionality. This can look like being unable to move, think clearly, or engage after getting home. 


Sleep can also be impacted. Many neurodivergent individuals describe not feeling rested, even after a full night in bed. The nervous system remains active when it should be settling, leading to restless sleep, muscle tension, or sudden jolts awake. These experiences are linked to the body remaining on alert, even when the environment is safe. 


The connection between the brain and the body is also deeply influenced by the gut. Around ninety to ninety five percent of serotonin, a chemical involved in mood, sleep, and emotional regulation, is produced in the digestive system. The gut contains trillions of microbes that communicate with the brain through what is known as the gut brain axis. These signals influence mood, stress responses, inflammation, and behaviour. Estimates vary widely across studies, but gastrointestinal symptoms are reported substantially more often in autistic individuals than in the general population, with many studies finding prevalence rates between about 40% and 70%.  While research is still emerging, there is growing interest in how gut health may relate to autistic experiences, particularly where gastrointestinal differences are present. 

 

Because regulation can be difficult to access, some individuals turn to external supports, including specific foods, caffeine, or other substances, in an attempt to manage attention, calm the mind, or lift mood. This reflects the nervous system seeking relief from ongoing intensity. It is not about poor choices, but about the drive to find quiet in a system that rarely rests. 


When regulation does occur, it can feel profound. It is often described as moving from chaos to calm, from a storm to stillness. This sense of quiet is not just preferred, it is necessary. Solitude can play an important role here. Being alone reduces sensory and social input, allowing the nervous system to settle. Even in the presence of loved ones, that need for space still exists without reflecting a lack of connection or care. 


Relationships can become complex within this context. People may unmask with those they trust, expressing more of their authentic selves.


However, this can sometimes be misunderstood, particularly if others are not familiar with neurodivergent communication and expression.


Misinterpretation can lead to disconnection, reinforcing feelings of being unseen, unheard and misunderstood. 


Many autistic individuals also carry a deep sense of grief linked to years of masking and not being fully accepted as they are. This can make authentic connection both deeply desired and difficult to maintain. In this context, animals often become powerful sources of comfort. Pets provide consistent, non judgemental companionship. Their presence can support regulation, offering rhythm, warmth, and predictability. Even something as simple as the sound and vibration of a cat purring has been associated with calming effects on the nervous system. 


The relationship between the nervous system and the body is complex and deeply interconnected. Understanding these experiences through a neuroaffirming lens shifts the narrative from one of deficit to one of difference. There is still much to explore, and as understanding grows, so too does the opportunity to support regulation, wellbeing, and authentic ways of being. 

Understanding what the nervous system may be communicating is an important step towards providing support that feels safe, respectful and genuinely neuroaffirming. If you or someone you support could benefit from guidance tailored to their individual needs, get in touch with the helpz team to learn how we can help.


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