Tharon’s Thoughts - Supporting Autistic Clients during Christmas Time

Christmas time brings joy, celebration, and connection, but for autistic individuals, it can also bring sensory overload, emotional intensity, and disruption to routine. While Christmas is a time of giving and togetherness, it’s important to remember that for many autistic people, it’s also just another day - one that can be filled with challenges if not approached with care and planning. 

Taste and Tradition: Navigating Holiday Foods 

New foods are everywhere during Christmas, but many autistic individuals prefer safe, familiar foods. Pressuring someone to try new dishes can lead to distress. Instead: 

• Introduce new foods gradually in the lead-up to Christmas. 
• Always have safe alternatives available. 
• Talk about the menu ahead of time and involve the person in planning. 
• Consider having a mock Christmas meal ahead of time where you can safely introduce the foods. 

As a child, I had an aversion to Christmas pudding, but to support my inclusion in joining in at mealtime, my Nana would buy me a Darrell Lea Nougat Christmas pudding to enjoy. This also was extended to all the children in the family and has become a lifelong tradition for me. 

Parties, Presents & People: Managing Sensory and Emotional Overload 

Christmas parties can be loud, crowded, and unpredictable. The excitement of opening presents and seeing unfamiliar or rarely-seen family members can lead to emotional overwhelm. Autistic individuals often feel emotions more intensely than neurotypicals, and when overwhelmed, may lose the ability to mask, leading to behaviours of concern. These emotions are not necessarily always negative, this time of year you may see over-excitement! 

Tips to support regulation: 

• Allow breaks between gift openings. 
• Provide quiet spaces at gatherings. 
• Bring headphones, sensory tools, and comfort items. 
• Prepare scripts for social situations (e.g. expressing appropriate thanks when receiving gifts). 
• Respect personal space and boundaries. Recognising touch preferences of all parties, especially during greetings. 

Adults Need Support Too 

Autism doesn’t disappear with age. Adults with autism experience the same sensory and emotional challenges as children. Extra care and understanding are needed across all ages. 

Summer Holidays & Staff Changes: Planning for Transitions 

The festive season also marks the transition into summer (and school) holidays, which can mean: 

• Changes in routine. 
• Staff on leave. 
• Increased unpredictability. 

Support strategies:

• Use visual calendars and social stories to explain changes. This can be done on theme with the season using an advent calendar setup, where each day the person counts down to the staff returning, and even possibly getting a treat alongside that countdown. 
• Ensure replacement staff are trained and informed of support needs. 
• Maintain routines wherever possible. 

Recognising Overwhelm & Supporting Regulation 

Sometimes autistic individuals try so hard to fit in that they don’t realise they’re becoming overwhelmed, essentially masking for themselves. Watch for signs and have regulation strategies ready: 

• Offer space to engage in special interests. 
• Allow time alone or in quiet areas. 
• Encourage self-awareness and provide tools to manage emotions. 

Planning for Christmas is stressful not just on them, but also on you. It is important to recognise your own stressors and pressure and remember the importance of self-care strategies, and the benefits of co-regulating with your child. 

Visiting Family: Advocating for Needs 

If attending celebrations at someone else’s home: 

• Communicate your child’s needs in advance. 
• Request a quiet space or sensory-friendly area. 
• Surround yourself with understanding people. 
• Be prepared to leave early if needed. 

Gift Giving: Preparing for Social Norms 

Receiving a gift that doesn’t align with an autistic person’s interests can be distressing and they may react with obvious disappointment. Help them prepare for when someone gives them a gift that they do not like. It is important to let children know that this may occur ahead of time, and you can support them with scripting, for example: “Thank you, I appreciate it” and help them with appropriate tone and facial expressions. Remind your child that they can talk with you later if the gift is not quite right and can help them find a solution (exchanging the gift, etc.). 

To help avoid the above situation, if possible you can educate gift-givers about your child’s special interests and preferences and offer gift suggestions prior to the day. 

Compassion Over Perfection 

Despite all the planning, things may still go wrong, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t perfection, but kindness, flexibility, and understanding. Plan for failure, hope for success, and remember to care for your own wellbeing too. 

“We’re not trying to give anyone a hard time - we’re having a hard time.” 

Let this season be one of forgiveness, compassion, and connection. Take breaks, slow down, and be kind, to others and to yourself. 

Have a very Merry Christmas and I will catch you in the new year!