Tharon’s Thoughts - Setting Goals for Neurodivergents

Living in a World we are not built for: Setting Realistic Expectations 

As the calendar flips to a new year, the pressure to reinvent ourselves often creeps in. We’re told to set goals, chase achievements, and become “better versions” of ourselves. But for many of us who are neurodivergent, this pressure can feel like trying to thrive in a world that wasn’t designed with us in mind. 

Let’s be honest: the modern world is loud, fast, and overwhelming. Walking down a city street, I’m not just hearing my friend talk - I’m hearing birds, buses, chatter, footsteps, and the hiss of espresso machines. I’m seeing flashing lights, moving crowds, and smelling every scent that wafts by. My brain doesn’t filter this out. It takes it all in. It contributes to our anxiety and creates a constant threat alert. And that’s exhausting. 

Autistic people often have heightened senses - great if you’re living in the wilderness and need to rely on instinct. Not so great when you’re trying to hold a conversation on a busy street. We may avoid eye contact to help us concentrate on what is being said – eye contact is a distraction to us. Toe walking? It helps with balance and silence in nature. Hyperfocus? Perfect for tracking animals or mastering a craft. ADHD hyperactivity? Ideal for physical tasks like fixing a leak in a hut. But sitting still in an office cubicle? That’s a whole different challenge. 

We weren’t built for this era. In past times, we might have thrived as shepherds, hunters, or travelling merchants. Today, those roles are rare. Cities have replaced open land. Machines have replaced manual jobs. And we’re often forced into environments with people that don’t support our needs - told we’re “too much,” “too loud,” “too weird,” “anti-social,” or “not enough.” 

But what if we stopped trying to fit in? 

What if we let go of neurotypical expectations and embraced who we are?

While respecting healthy boundaries and developing an understanding of social rules and the reasons behind them are vital for our inclusion (We ask for and require a lot of accommodations for our own needs, but it is a two-way street and in order for us to live within the modern world, we do need to understand social rules and expectations.). There is also the perspective of why should you change who you are to make someone else comfortable? For example, our child-like joy, our intense neurodivergent friendships, hyperfocus on topics that interest us, and high energy levels. 

This year, instead of setting goals based on what others expect, ask yourself:

What do I want to achieve? What’s within my capabilities? What brings me joy? 

Your interests are powerful. They can guide you to meaningful paths. Maybe you love animals - become a vet. Maybe you love birds- start a breeding program. Personally, I dream of breeding black cockatoos and having a family. To get there, I need a plan, support, and the courage to follow my interests. 

Surround yourself with people who understand you, who meet you where you’re at. Push your limits without breaking them - stretch, don’t snap. Set realistic expectations. Work within your strengths. And don’t give up. 

Progression is better than perfection. Maybe you want to cook dinner independently, go out alone, get a job, or make a new friend. These aren’t small things, they’re huge steps. And they matter because they matter to you. 

Sometimes, the path we start on leads us somewhere unexpected. You might dream of being a chef, but find the journey too stressful. That’s okay. You’ll discover new interests along the way. Every step teaches you something. 

When you understand your challenges, you can give yourself what you need. You can take breaks. You can say no. You can be kind to yourself. 

So in 2026, I hope every autistic person learns this: You are not broken. You are not less. You are important.

Take off the neurotypical mask. Be kind to yourself. See yourself clearly. And walk forward in strength. If you are going to do anything this year, be kind to yourself.